I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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