We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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