The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
