The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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