remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
