My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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