Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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