We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
