I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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