Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
