I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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