He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
