i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
