is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
