Define "chronic" masturbator.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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