You smell like stripper and shame
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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