You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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