There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
