Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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