I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
