My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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