wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize