Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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