Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
