we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
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thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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