Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They have beer where we have blood.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
