I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
