My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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