Im at strip club and am horny
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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