If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
operation harelip BJ is a go
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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