So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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