1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
