Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone. http://tfl.nu/t7gq
  Replies (19) Good night (1325) Bad night (3259)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  not a thing

  (613): View more from Ontario

  walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom? (1-613): not a thing (613): walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom http://tfl.nu/euwx
  Replies (19) Good night (1040) Bad night (5264)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues" http://tfl.nu/4mvg
  Replies (26) Good night (4293) Bad night (2143)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be. http://tfl.nu/hcpi
  Replies (14) Good night (1259) Bad night (3578)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up. http://tfl.nu/dgzw
  Replies (35) Good night (1572) Bad night (4440)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training http://tfl.nu/kvls
  Replies (12) Good night (3348) Bad night (1969)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert? http://tfl.nu/uki8
  Replies (4) Good night (2588) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him. (910): Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer. http://tfl.nu/vb0s
  Replies (4) Good night (2253) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!" http://tfl.nu/13ym
  Replies (7) Good night (1071) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/yu51
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished http://tfl.nu/zdpg
  Replies (5) Good night (910) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8
  Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.

  (209): View more from California

  Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now. (209): Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4. http://tfl.nu/hx3p
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?

  (863): View more from Florida

  I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister? (863): I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on http://tfl.nu/xj2m
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore. http://tfl.nu/q6m4
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (120)

Randomize