If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.