I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher