Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

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  (617): my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off http://tfl.nu/ogtq
  Replies (36) Good night (4756) Bad night (1874)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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  (954): So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had. http://tfl.nu/ag2c
  Replies (98) Good night (2181) Bad night (22901)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much

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  (917): his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much http://tfl.nu/cn35
  Replies (30) Good night (1654) Bad night (5162)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.

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  (509): im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating. http://tfl.nu/g1sz
  Replies (16) Good night (3883) Bad night (917)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.

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  (240): So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak. http://tfl.nu/34fx
  Replies (30) Good night (5687) Bad night (944)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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  (281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr
  Replies (14) Good night (790) Bad night (2773)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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  (610): Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that http://tfl.nu/6wwt
  Replies (9) Good night (2533) Bad night (1318)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.

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  (920): I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable. http://tfl.nu/ga3p
  Replies (5) Good night (1476) Bad night (499)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years

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  (720): At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years http://tfl.nu/t2xh
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (455)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.

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  (412): Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it. http://tfl.nu/10d1
  Replies (6) Good night (1105) Bad night (586)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

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  (+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser http://tfl.nu/inov
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (262)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism

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  (330): can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism http://tfl.nu/db2b
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (253)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.

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  (314): I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done. http://tfl.nu/w2o8
  Replies (0) Good night (821) Bad night (229)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.

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  (214): BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core. http://tfl.nu/qnhi
  Replies (5) Good night (537) Bad night (166)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.

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  (810): I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me. (1-810): All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one. http://tfl.nu/rkvc
  Replies (4) Good night (824) Bad night (119)

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