Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.