Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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