Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize