from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
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Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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