So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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