eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
