Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
