dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
