He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Be still, my beating vagina.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
