Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
