just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
