dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
