Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
