Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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