thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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