Its about making memories worth repressing
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
