I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
