Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
