it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
