4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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