Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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