Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize