he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
