Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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