Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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