So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
